My thinking is that I always love that guy.

But it turns over that he is …

How sad it is…

At least to me it is sad.

I said it before…

Its better not to tell others

You finally violate our commitment

And the outcome is as I predict

I do not mean to proud of what I predict come true.

I am serious.

I even feel sad about this outcome.

I ask you for not tell others because I feel the people around you make everything change

That’s not your own wording.

It’s him.

I know about you and predict his behavior with his post.

Of course, there are still other person other than him, and other reason other than people.

But I don’t want you to tell others only because of one reason.

I like you and thus don’t want us separate one day because of these.

I am real and serious. Can’t you feel that???

Have you ever thought over the entire thing deeply?

Is that our relation become worse after one’s wording?

Is that because of people wording, we finally become this?

I can’t tell you at that time that I scare about your people.

I know Christian goes too extreme to listen to others after I took part in those activities.

Have you ever think of one thing?

He is not the god but just someone knows better than others how to convince others, at least better than I do clearly.

If you do these because of god’s wording, I must follow; else everything is simply nonsense.

Everyone there is simply a little chess to one.

Anyway, he succeeded. I admire his power really.

So lucky I am.

The god must have a power making that I cannot find him that day.

I pay too much in this lesson.

Frank fully, I feel very sad for this.

But it is over with one’s sadness.

And I will be fine soon as there is no room for me to imagine anymore.

Now, I think everything all over.

I also earn something but I will not let people protecting me down anymore.

Just like that as I believe you were supporting me

But actually, you felt I brother you so much

That’s what’s it is in reality.

In human dreams, everything is nearly perfect.

I dream about you with an ugly face but still you have very extraordinary excellent characters.

This is because human being tends to believe what they love is good, or even the best.

We fail if we are not lucky enough to meet someone really fair.

We success if we meet someone willing to pay as much as we do.

By then, we gain a lot.

We, the advocators of belief of love, will live happily with our couples.

I have heard someone said once that couples who worship the god tend to separate in a lower probability than those who do not.

I do try this.

And the conclusion I draw is that the above sentence is true under the condition that both worship the god deeply.

Besides, I discover one more thing.

For a couple with one worship the god crazily and another just even simply a normal Christian without worshipping god crazily, they will separate the fastest and in the most cruel way in this world comparing with all condition.

This is all actually the point of mind.

It’s because we makes ourselves strongly stick to a belief.

For people with high quality, they can manage themselves so well that accepting others with different belief.

That’s what the Chinese always mention, 和而不同.

Hv u ever consider my feeling

How come u become so cruel so curel

I wanna kick you ar

I want to kick u

I wanna beat u

How dare u like this\

I love so deep

I know this is not calculation

No one said there is a return

But u said ….

\

in sms u dare said that I dun hv any plan

are you drive crazy ar?????????????

How come you crazy with them

How come

U should be diff

U forget everythg

Forget about plans after a year and so on

That’re all rubbish, not plans.

Is that??

Is that want u mean?\\

why it is so disgusting that I always wanna find u

I dislike this lei.

How come I find someone so horrible

Crazy……………………….

All the sms I finally hv brave to c , only one Is better

All the others are hurting me

Haven’t u see my heart is bleeding>????????

Cant u see????

Cant u feel or just imagin?

I …………………………..

Y I choose this????

When u wanna come out, u ask me to

When u dun want to comeout , even we date, u dun come

I wanna kick u hard, v hard that type

U r v gd lei…

I give u a chance

I treat you so true without listening to others

I trust you wholeheartedly

But you are actually a man like that

How come

I think….

I hv a lot of thing wanna tell you

And also I have a wish…

Today I am so sad.

As my mother met the similar problem as I do.

I suddenly understand a lot of thing.

Why I so want you stay besides me.

As I understand this I know that what kind of person you are.

You are a person with similar personality as my dad in some way.

Do you believe what you put more what you will get more ma?

Do you know what exactly you are doing?

I mean do you have a schedule?

Thanks for noticing that I am unbalanced.

I am going to fix it with a way I know its work.

What a man should be?

I think in consideration of a family of one own…

May be I say too much on that which I should not talk about.

Do you miss the days sitting in a garden?

Have you ever missed the days playing and learning things together?

But what are you actually doing now??

We all commit a mistake very easily.

We believe we can find sometimes after the days with heavy work load.

But I together with you am wrong.

We hurt people or even the one we love.

We will not live in the way really fit us as after these heavy work load days, there should be another if we do things in this way.

It is not a matter of doing it tomorrow.

It is a matter of instant.

We ought to do the thing we really care at the instant today.

Helping others or following others’ words is very important sometimes.

However, we are the one given the lives, not others.

We ought to live for ourselves and our belief, not the others.

If we are not living in such way right now, we have to change it immediately right now.

To start loving a guy can be not easy to someone.

To supply love to your lover is even more difficult.

But the most difficult task is to stop loving a lover for somebody.

However, if it is a necessary, everyone can do it under the condition that he or she is alive in this planet.

Have you ever feel that I put my life and future on your hands?

Have you ever??

In fact, I don’t understand why everyone does not believe in my feeling.

I don’t understand why even you do so.

Is that useful enough to say loudly all the time that you love one very very much?

Is that meaning one love a guy strong enough to let others including her lover to believe?

Why love is proved in this way?

I think what the others think cannot be control.

Moreover, they know not much enough about me to judge my feeling.

They do not feel and experience it.

But how can the lover misunderstand also?

That’s incredible.

So, that means everything is unrealistic, right?

We have not even loved each other before.

We never do so for even a second.

Is that actually ??

I have not thought that we will not have this xmas together.

I think that once again I am going to make you feel touching.

By now, I hear your voice.

I understand.

You do not what is love between lovers is.

You may even do not have idea about what it is attractive.

I will not remember all these as your fault.

Today, I just wanna know whether you are happy enough.

If so, I go la.

Do you still remember the moment we hold each other's hands?

Do you still remember what you said as you kiss me, hug me or even salty wet?

One day, I really hope you can at least think all thing all over again and feel touching all the time in your whole life.

If possible, you better be gentle to remember all these to me as a sweetie thing but not a regret at least.

This story maybe so heavy that I may not have the ability to keep in my mind.

You know the feeling of devoting oneself to someone you love and being played?

You know how hurt it can be?

Do this as a reward for the thing we both pay for our days, with no condition, time limitation and human restriction.

Then this will be the perfect ending of our days.

當我仰望希臘神話的女神
我好似有D明白又好似沒有
直到熟睡在搖晃的船中
我夢見一個我肯定過的男人
就是我會樂意為他弄出好味道的食物
為他改變思想
甚至為他獻身
曾經我做了以上
更曾經深深跟他濕吻
容他有限度的佔有我的身體
其實我是個保守得很的人
我會那樣做因為我相信他的情義是毋用時間證明
也因為有一刻他令我認定為一生一世的戀人
他摟摟抱抱著我的時候
他也曾經肯定我們的感情也曾經自己親口說永遠那麼愛我
也當然曾經答應我不會不要我
而最後…
他沒有食言
是, 他沒有他沒有
在夢中我夢見一幕又一幕的甜酸苦辣……

我負了我的ex-bf
他居然反過來跟我道歉 說他這負心漢沒有給我太多
他無心的一句教曉我…
我可以不去肯定一人 但最好別否定一段感情
信自己被愛情支配信曾任人擺佈因為我全心鍾意他
情願信他負心信他不在這世上 也繼續那份愛
那麼愛就是永遠 它不會化為恨
纏綿也就永遠是相愛的表現 不是嘔心的獸行
感情 我們理應全心投入 而不是遺忘毀滅
我鍾意他
無論發生任何事我都愈來愈鍾意他
28th December, 2004 <AM 01:41>

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